私のブログ

原來真的是這樣

2012-01-29T01:50:00.000+08:00

可能你們會覺得我永遠都在隨便說說，但你們不會知道沒有被認真對待，敷衍了事的行爲有多大的影響。如果每一次都有這樣的結果，一次兩次無數次過後，誰還會，誰還肯再嘗試？

唯一的好處可能就是明天又多一點時間工作。

Chinese New Year

2012-01-24T14:13:00.001+08:00

Some hits, some misses. Kinect was fun, food was way too much, kids are always lovely, violent cousins much.

That about all summed up the weekend, that is, Saturday to Monday. Not funny to realise that I would be back at work in less than 24 hrs. Holiday no enough!

But for one thing, I realise how old they really look suddenly, and I know that time is pressing. Pensive.

And also, I realise how much I come to value the talking, chatting, and the lack of it all with one comment. And so I think I finally understood how important it is to me.

Gotta rot for 2 more hrs before going over to uncle's place.

Friendship

2012-01-13T10:43:00.000+08:00

There are some kinds of friendship which I don't know what I've done to deserve. It's like this friendship has never disappeared regardless of whether I am overseas or he is overseas and whenever he is back, he will automatically contact me and we will meet up. And then we can talk about anything under the sun as if we have always been talking to each other.

The feeling of being remembered is so precious, and so many other friendships could have gone the same way if one party had taken a bit more effort than the lousy tries. I do know that at least I have a few treasured friendships, and they make my life :)

And there's the colleagues in office who are surely becoming friends (some of them, anyway) and I really relish the moment where I can unguardedly talk (again, it's that some of them) without having to fear anything. And I also realise what kind of people I can tolerate and what kind of people I can't. Good in a way, eh?

Can't wait for CNY to arrive! and gone with the 25, hello to the impending second half of the twenties which will be here before I know it.

To keep mum

2012-01-04T10:23:00.002+08:00

There are a ton of things that I would like to say, especially the bluntness and impatience of it all. But I can't say anything, because I can't say anything to the people here, outside of here no one will understand what I'm talking about and how can I complain to the person whom I know will be taking over the job?

Resolutions much?

2012-01-02T00:06:00.002+08:00

Last yr I refused to do any resolutions because I know I don't keep most of them anyway. But today I've been kinda influenced to think a little more about what I want this year. On hindsight, 2011 was not such a bad year for work. I worked and I enjoyed each and every of the little successes I've had. Friends wise, I believed I had made the effort to keep in contact with whoever I wanted to keep in contact with (not labelled busy for nothing, eh?)

2012 has gone off to quite a good start.

Ok, here's a resemblance of a resolution list (oh no, too much time on FB and this post has stretched from 1 Jan to 2 Jan -_-):

1) French. How many years liao! I must really do it this year.

2) To pick up something new that I don't previously know.

3) Be more honest with myself.

4) Emote more!

5) I seem to have lost my patience and good temper. I shall try to rein in my biting remarks and sarcasm.. Sometimes. Other times, the people will still deserve it. Haha!

6) Be happy. :)

Wicked

2011-12-31T11:02:00.003+08:00

Absolutely loved it! Deeply poisoned with all the OST songs right now. I'm so glad I managed to catch the musical and I think I'm a convert for musicals from now on.. Woke up with Defying Gravity ringing in my ears omg. I loved Kristin and Idina's rendition too! :)

I love the musical so much than the book because I can really feel Elphie and Glinda's friendship being portrayed to deeper levels than in the book (though Glinda appeared more "blondie" in the musical at least for the first half). I also liked how they tied in the scarecrow and Tin Man (though I like the book's as well, but not nearly as much) and made everything flow smoothly - that is probably the musical's largest selling point :)

人心難測

2011-12-19T23:58:00.001+08:00

Because change is the only constant. It's scary because no matter how well you thought you know a person, there is always something to catch you by surprise. Sometimes the surprise is small, but sometimes its recoiling. And that is when you start to wonder if the person has ever said the truth before. 就因爲人心難測。You can guess for a million years but would never know whether a person is telling the truth. Maybe Veritaserum should really exist in the world so that there can be some honesty.

It hit me really strongly because this is the second case that I see him trying so hard at first but in the end for naught. I wonder if I can label them, scum. Or simply fickle minded.

錢不夠用

2011-12-19T11:16:00.001+08:00

Did a bit of finances just - realised that I have been spending way too much :( The alarm came when there was a need to transfer money into the spending account for the second time this month to pay off the CC bills at the end of the month. Gosh, it's time to save! I.Must.Save.

On the other hand, need to find time to write some xmas cards for the office people!!

It's so cold today I can just drop dead omg.

Of friendships

2011-12-14T16:53:00.000+08:00

I didn't think I took it to heart at first. But when he apologised for the frosty behaviour, I realised that I was somewhat happier, so it seems that I really had minded the lousy treatment. But that's that, at least there was an apology and as long as this kind of things don't happen too often.

學不會

2011-12-08T15:53:00.001+08:00

A grammar book

2011-11-30T16:00:00.001+08:00

I have never been bluntly criticised for my English before; and well there is always a first time.

Got slightly depressed yesterday, and wondering how the hell I looked past those mistakes. Or worse still, looked past the mistakes and till now still did not realise them, if any. But like all other things, this will pass, as soon as I nurse the wounded pride that I have over my language skills.

So this is a science student who probably is prouder of her arts skills than in science, and this is also someone who "looks" more like an arts student than science. So if the language skills are at risk now, I should probably develop more time with the legalistic part of the brain.

At least JJ saved the day with his DVD. I am going to continue the overindulgence in JJ music when I get home. I also want to preorder his new CD leh.

And another weekend is over

2011-11-27T23:32:00.001+08:00

And so this weekend has been a relatively quiet one, so different from the past 2-3 weekends! Nothing happening, except that I woke up at 6am on a Saturday and was hence so exhausted I fell asleep at 10plus on a Saturday!

And I think I slept so much that I am not sleepy now and tomorrow is the start of another new work week!

I think nua weekends are good. I get to rest more and even though I don't always go back to work recharged, at the very least I don't go back with eyebags. :P

Realised that for this half a year my posts could have added up to.. A month's worth some time back. I am not sure if it is that my focus has shifted to the more prominent social media or that I am simply too busy to write a post of paragraphs instead of a 140 character tweet or a short status update on FB. Nevertheless, I will, for myself, keep to writing in blogs because I am simply too lazy to pick up a pen and start a diary again. I also think that these blog posts might even keep me entertained when I read them some 10 years later.

Or they may help me remember the things I once so cherished but may have completely forgotten about them over time. Though some of the posts are really vague with no specific mention of any event, I am able to recall the incident.. Most of the times. So let it be, and who knows, I may want to print all the posts out one day as a blog book for remembrance sake! :)

Kopitalk

2011-11-26T17:05:00.001+08:00

Ok, so it's the first time in eons that I'm home on a Saturday afternoon and since this afternoon coincided with the Kopitalk MP Baey regularly holds, I decided to take a look. Half a year post elections and I haven't actually seen him in person, despite the fact that his posters are now so regular around the blocks and he makes his rounds so often now!

The turn out was not bad, not too crowded but with sufficient people to start the ball rolling. I was rather surprised to see so many people waving to each other and there was an inclination to think that they meet up regularly through the Kopitalk lol, but this is not a bad thing either.

I'm glad I went, and stayed for the two hours, but I'm surprised to discover that whenever the mike is with me I will automatically switch to English!? This is such a vast difference from TJC times, when I will struggle to hold a conversation in English simply because I'm so used to Mandarin.

Or maybe because MP Baey looks like one of the EOs I deal with on a daily basis. Lol. But nevertheless, interesting session!

Misconceptions

2011-11-14T21:24:00.001+08:00

"Your job like very relaxed hor, no need to OT."

"But I OT you also donno what. I do reach home at 8 or 9."

"You reach home at 8 or 9 my daughter still in office"

Well, I always see your daughter at home when I come home. How about that?

That's why one must nv assume. No matter how slack a person's work seems to be, you will never know the true story behind it.

Once again another nice weekend

2011-11-14T10:34:00.001+08:00

Many activities filled, the way I like it. Not too rushed, but occupying my entire weekend. And I finally managed to do the 2 things that I've procrastinated since long ago! Felt much better after accomplishing Sat's errands.

Had nice nights out on all 3 weekend nights. Good food, good concert, good movie, good company. :)

It was a very fun weekend and I wouldn't mind if such weekends pop up from time to time.

Ok, another new week, time to plow through those files and get my required information!

Sian

2011-11-05T01:22:00.001+08:00

The at-home-equals-not-at-home guy:

Water plants alr? - Nope.

Boiled water? - Nope.

I might have been the only person at home and it would have been the same. And the great reluctance just to stop by for a couple of hours.

And someone else's refusal to answer to my whatsapp just toed the line, really.

外婆也是你們的咯。

Terrible listening to the endless near vulgarities and complaints and having to do so for another day or two.

Happy Halloween~

2011-10-31T15:23:00.003+08:00

Last day of October, short week ahead and long weekend. Sounds good, yeah.

Except that the phlegm is still existent;

And I am [for the moment] the sole breadwinner in the house OMG? *sigh* the mental stress is building up even though I know the parent(s) will get a job eventually. But for the moment..

And that I really ought to be preparing for the presentation tomorrow. How to talk for 45 min straight, is quite a question mark to me.

And I've learnt not to gym whilst nursing a cough. Zzz...

The inhumanity of it all

2011-10-24T15:03:00.002+08:00

-Later, when interviewed by a journalist, one of the passersby, a middle-aged man riding a scooter, said with an uncomfortable smile on his face: "That wasn't my child. Why should I bother?"-

Source: The Guardian

I had thought that the 18 people will be guilt-ridden for the rest of their lives for failing to save the kid, who might have survived if any of them had pulled her aside to prevent the second driver from ramming into her. But no, looks like at least one of them are not going to be guilty of anything after all.

This callousness and the inhumanity of it all made me sick and more than slightly depressed. I'm not sure if it's because it's a kid who died that got me so worked up since I have this inexplicable tenderness for kids, or the fact that I've realised that there are people without consciences, who can watch a kid bleed and dying on the road and not lift a finger to help, and head home to their dinners guilt-free knowing that whoever has died is none of their businesses.

What if the kid had been yours and the other people refused to help?

Nua-ing the Sundays away

2011-10-23T19:58:00.000+08:00

Yes, I have work to do, "readings" to prepare for the newsletter but instead of doing them all, I slacked away the most part of my Sunday with watching mio Home movies, having the girl over and rewatching some old show. AND.. After doing all these I'm tired -_-

I understood over the weekend that I somewhat resemble a puffer fish. Scratch that, I have known for very long that I am like a puffer fish. It is just that the puffer fish characteristic has not been so acutely shown for a long time.

Ok, I will still attempt to read all the information and digest them and hopefully come up with some kind of a draft by tonight.. Zzz..

OMG where did all that time go?

2011-10-13T17:29:00.000+08:00

It's already mid Oct?! Can't believe it. Well, hectic hectic hectic.. And some wonderful things happened in Oct, including the opening of the Circle Line which wasn't quite a circle indeed! But it's ok, as long as I get my passageway!

Second half of Oct is likely to remain the same, but after the second half it means Nov is coming and omg what have I done in the past year?

Time to review the year and decide what I really want in life.

Last weekend of Sept

2011-09-30T13:45:00.000+08:00

Quite crazily busy this entire month - but at least the bulk of it is done and well, more work on Monday. Lol. I am pleased that it went quite well overall and pleased that there are results to the work being done.

I've had good Fridays this entire month, whether by way of work or after work activities, and today was no different. Good to keep Fridays occupied :)

Well, someone is going to ORD soon, but I doubt it will make a difference here.

Looking forward to ERP later and dinner with the gals!

9/11

2011-09-09T11:07:00.001+08:00

Reports of 9/11 have been circulating around the past week, in view of the upcoming 10th anniversary.

This report from ST nearly broke my heart.

10 years ago, on 9/11, I was but a Secondary 3 student, and in the few minutes before school started, I can still remember clearly that I was in the classroom surfing the net using the only computer, and read some news of the attack.

And 10 yrs ago, that attack didn't mean much to me at that point of time because I hardly even knew about the existence of the Twin Towers. It wasn't until very much later in the evening that I knew the full extent, when coverage of the attack was everywhere on every channel.

10 years later, the pain and loss of 3k people is still felt by people, and especially immediate members of the family.

I think it's a blessing just to be alive and surrounded with your loved ones. Treasure it, before it is too late.

Reminiscences

2011-09-07T00:47:00.001+08:00

I think none of you knew that I used to write SMS-es into notebooks to prevent losing them.

Childish? Yes, I think so. Crazy? Not that mental, of course. Only SMS-es I felt were important to me. Over the course of 2 JC years, I think I only had a handful. Thus it wasn't like I spent half of my life copying those SMS-es.

Silly as it might be, when I chanced upon them today, it really brought back tons of memories, and I could remember exactly when each SMS came, for which event, whatever I was feeling at that time.

The feeling of reminiscences is good.

For life made you into what you are today, ain't it? :)

It has been getting harder and harder

2011-08-06T14:21:00.000+08:00

In aspects more than 1, I have to admit.

Some things I know I should not be feeling this way; but I can't help it. Some I know I should not have reacted that way; but I can't help it. Some things I know are out of my control; but I still want to do it.

And some things I know I should be doing, but procrastinating.

And when all comes together, I'm in a downright terrible mood right now.

Basic Contract Law

2011-07-28T10:50:00.001+08:00

Is really interesting!

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Grouchy

2011-07-27T23:33:00.000+08:00

Numerous factors made me very, very grouchy indeed. I can't even pinpoint the exact one.

Perhaps I shouldn't have been that hostile; but perhaps subconsciously I did. Perhaps I shouldn't even have felt guilty for being mean, but I still did.

Nothing pleased me today lah. :( I need a good break.

It's breakfast war time!

2011-07-21T07:42:00.005+08:00

Round 1:

I'm not hungry, but contemplating to eat mifen. And so in retaliation..

Round 2: Comparing the mifen!

Mifen with one ingredient BUT only 1 dollar

Mifen with 2 ingredients and it's 2.60..

Round 3: Drinks time..

Starbucks!!

Soya bean.. Yum!

Overall, after noticing the starbucks cup, I think I lost leh :'( Kah Yong you win la! ;p

真是死要面子

2011-07-19T14:31:00.000+08:00

死愛逞強，說不能應付會死是不是？！？！

活該你有一天被壓得死死的。

快點工作啦！

Hello I'm back (lagging for a week)

2011-07-04T17:16:00.000+08:00

It's always when I'm stumped with what to write that I end up here. But nevertheless, let this be a good break and yes, I'm back from oh-I-don't-want-to-come-back-USA and work has been more than a little hectic over the past week.

And to top it off, I am still bothered over what was said on Friday. I think I need to anticipate and digest what that really meant, and if any changes will take place in the near future.

I supposed this break is sufficient. Time to get back and zone out on my Outlook..

USA trip

2011-06-25T08:03:00.001+08:00

Too much to tell, too much to say. Only a few things noteworthy:

1) Shaolin is really, really good. Really.
2) I love how service in USA is. Don't mind tipping them for their fantastic service!
3) Haven't been able to sleep more than a few hours a day. And can't sleep on the plane. 人老了。
4) Everyone has a car over here. It's impossibly hard to get to anywhere without one.
5) I don't wanna go back!

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It's time to fly!!!

2011-06-13T08:55:00.000+08:00

After working my ass off through the weekend, it's time to throw all work aside and concentrate on the fun for the next 2 weeks! :) 2 weeks of non email, non office.. I'm gonna have withdrawal symptoms when I come back OMG and the amount of emails..!!

But meanwhile, just heck first lol!

Have a good 2 weeks everyone!

I have got 1.5 days to...

2011-06-07T17:19:00.000+08:00

Finish up my newsletter, prepare the budget, get everything for budget templates in order and send it out, and clear any other outstanding things that may be. Prepare for induction, think hard about a weird proposal thrown at me.

1.5 days!

My brother is alien. It has been confirmed.

2011-06-02T16:52:00.005+08:00

[16:50] joyce's motto: i imagine: what is ARM?

[16:50] joyce's motto: i imagine: i know i read something bout the icons looking like wp7

[16:50] keng siang: intel's chips architecture is called x86

[16:50] keng siang: theres another architecture

[16:50] keng siang: which is ARM

[16:51] keng siang: powering most mobile devices

[16:51] joyce's motto: i imagine: eh

[16:51] keng siang: including ur snapdragon if im not wrong

[16:51] joyce's motto: i imagine: if got module on such tech stuff u sure A++++ it

[16:51] joyce's motto: i imagine: what the

[16:51] keng siang: yea

[16:51] keng siang: im amazed i didnt take such things as major

[16:52] joyce's motto: i imagine: im amazed too

[16:52] joyce's motto: i imagine:

Good weeknd and no Monday blues!

2011-05-30T00:43:00.000+08:00

Very good Saturday, even better Sunday with a great movie deal, free movie tic, happy session over lunch and value for money dinner!! What more can I say. :)) ♥

In eons..

2011-05-25T23:12:00.000+08:00

Since I last peeled from a sunburn. :o Amazed. It was JC when I last did!

Which can only mean.. This time is the worst since orientation in JC!!! @_@

________________

In eons since I can't remember when, it was a good lunch. The interaction between the colleagues is really <3 The unique gathering of MX-s from all units is something ever so special. :)

Think I had enough

2011-05-21T02:03:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I try to be rational. And sometimes I failed. It's the times when I failed that it really sucks.

認命吧

2011-05-19T23:33:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, it isn't as if the more you try to pretend that things didn't happen, things will go away after a while.

Sometimes I think it just accumulates more and explodes on a more violent point. So, yeah, there's no point hiding from the facts anymore.

Random = happy

2011-05-14T21:59:00.000+08:00

For reasons which I don't want to go into, I woke up pleasantly surprised to find mom at home. And it has been forever since we sat down in the kitchen on a Saturday (with the pig in the room) to breakfast. I totally missed the feeling! And I sprouted a random suggestion (ok, it wasn't that random after all, I needed to grab something from office) and they gamely accepted and that was how I rallied my family to go Holland Village for lunch and end up at NIKE for some awesome discounts! Discount on discount: 700 bucks to 300 bucks. :))))

Visited ALOT of places today that I wouldn't have gone on a normal day.. West Coast Plaza, HV on a Saturday, Vista Point (I know, ?!?!) But it was good fun and I wish I have more of such days!!

Almost midweek

2011-05-10T22:44:00.001+08:00

CPDD Day! I think it was fun overall and while I do enjoy being outside, being lobstered was not the intention zzz. But at least it was lots of fun and padi planting is nice! For a try, that is, not as a lifelong career.. o.o

And now that GE2011 is over the election fever has died down and I am very disappointed that GY will be out of politics from now on. But what's over is over and let's hope PAP works hard to bring back every voter else GE2016 will be..... unpredictable.

But another fever has persisted, and will the weather please be not so hot!? Perspiring every day at home is not an option!!!!

I am sorely disappointed.

2011-05-07T22:10:00.000+08:00

I am fed up with the "you are civil servant, so you have to vote for PAP." HELLO, FOR THE LAST BLOODY TIME, CIVIL SERVICE CONSTITUTES MORE THAN THAT. I AM FROM THE EXECUTIVE BRANCH. THE PARLIAMENT IS FROM THE LEGISLATIVE BRANCH.

And I find it totally ungracious for my views to be dismissed just because I am different.

I am very, very disappointed. And sad.

Brand loyalty

2011-05-06T00:29:00.000+08:00

Finally the election rallying and campaigning has come to a close. Cooling off day in 10 min time! Hopefully all the voters will already have a good indication of who they will vote for. Must maintain my political neutrality.. :)

________________________

I realise that I am very loyal to the brands I support. As long as they have not completely failed me, I will stick through the brand thick or thin..

Nokia (until HTC arrived...)

Singapore (yes, Singapore is a brand and I get very fiercely loyal over that)

NUS + TJC + AHS (sorry, too detached from my pri sch already)

Accessories and clothes (just look at the number of cards that I have)

so on, so forth..

Perhaps some of them may be foolish brand loyalty, but as long as it works, why not?

And so what I want to really say is, I was at the supermarket yesterday, and I saw Fruit Tree Fresh and Peel Fresh. I would choose Peel Fresh over Fruit Tree Fresh anyway, simply because I am accustomed to drinking the former. It works for me. I didn't even bother to compare the price; I didn't know how much the latter cost. Why should I give up my steady 90 cents, for something else which may be cheaper, but may also be more expensive, and yet I don't know how I would take to the contents?

Perhaps I may like it. But perhaps I may also develop an allergy to it. So.. Why should I change for the sake of changing?

Nothing short of a miracle

2011-05-04T16:40:00.001+08:00

That one time where I logged into Friendster, that one time where I saw the update, that one time where I decided to take action.

And I actually got a reply. And so I had my answer after 6 years.

Nothing short of a miracle. But at least I feel somewhat.. Relieved at this moment.

Mr Rainbow.. :)

One packed long weekend

2011-05-03T00:08:00.000+08:00

Packed with news, that is. Following the GE news closely everyday; it has become a hot topic for every single person that I met. Exchanging our views and the current situation in the respective constituencies.

And then Osama died today.

I was very touched by President Obama's speech. His natural charisma, his way of touching people's lives with a simple statement, totally blew me off. I'm glad that amidst the chaos of all, a silver lining has shone through for him in his pick-up-the-pieces position as the U.S. President. Somehow, the U.S. citizens today (or yesterday, for them), came together again, reunited by the their loss and sense of belonging through the crisis, and emerged the (temporary) winner after 10 long years of battle with terrorism.

The line which left the most impression and probably was the one to nearly induce a couple of droplets:

President Obama: "... let me say to the families who lost loved ones on 9/11 that we have never forgotten your loss ..."

Indeed, justice has been done, for all the 2,977 victims on September 11.

Angsty

2011-04-29T00:04:00.000+08:00

And I must split this into two posts for I do not want to taint the other post. Besides, by the time I finish this it will probably go into the next day. That much that I am angsty about. I think the heat of elections has not done much to help :(

I just feel like cutting a certain person's brain and pull all the brain cells to link together!!!

That aside, another someone has made me feel that the length of time does not matter anymore; whether it is one day, or a month, or even a year. The level of bo chup-ness is highly disturbing. But it's ok, I have thoroughly given up.

Angsty, angsty. And I must stay away from too full + milk. Seriously.

Too angsty to sleep so early leh.

Finally a non-apathetic

2011-04-28T23:44:00.000+08:00

Frankly speaking, I've always been apathetic towards politics. As long as I live my life and no one disturbs my equilibrium I will be happy with whoever is in power. Like who cares, right?

Until the power to vote and the heat of the elections has warmed every Singaporean up, including me. That one tiny vote suddenly becomes so precious; you are

1) voting for who you will be seeing for the next few years

2) voting for the next generation of leaders

3) voting for the people that you support.

It is not that I have a firm stand of who I should believe in, or whose beliefs resonate with mine. I believe in the sheer fact that no party can be perfect, just like no system can be perfect. It is about how to manage the flaws rather than pretend they did not happen.

And so listening to the political broadcasts and rally tweets, I can't help but post some comments on twitter/facebook on those ideas I think are crap, and those that I think are sound. But everyone's perspective is different, and hence the different supporters for the different parties.

I can't deny that they have not done everything well. But I also can't deny that there are a lot of things done well. Whilst some people genuinely believe that the party's mottos are to support for, some people are simply.. Going with the flow.

And these are the people that I do not like. Being apathetic and going with the flow are two different things.

And I am but another small small Singaporean whose vote will count for come May 7. :)

It's been a nice night out

2011-04-24T01:54:00.002+08:00

Even though I wasn't very communicative till later;

Even though I was a lil' apprehensive;

Even that I talked to everyone;

Though I still controlled myself pretty well :)

I think it will be a good night's sleep tonight.

Managing expectations (II)

2011-04-17T12:22:00.000+08:00

And perhaps if someone doesn't intend to continue on something when the expectation is raised, then my advice would be, to not raise it in the first place. There's no need for the rise and fall of emotions when something is not replied to or when someone doesn't intend to reply, ain't it? Or perhaps there is too much fun to waylaid the original intentions, but that cannot be an excuse for anything.

Or perhaps I am just being oversensitive as usual.

Or maybe I should be the one to lower my expectations and not expect everyone to be like me.

Or maybe I am the only one and unique Aunt Agony amongst the people I know so the rest cannot be.

I'm sorry

2011-04-16T18:28:00.000+08:00

It's probably been AGES since I last blogged 3 times in a day (or was it never?) but I guess all I want to say is, sorry that I did what I just did and perhaps what used to happen was to give slight hope to one party while irritating the other party. But from now on, hopefully the other party feel out of sight, out of mind and whilst we may be friends, I must protect my family.

Move on bah!

Another random flashback

2011-04-16T12:59:00.000+08:00

Was alone on the train yesterday and suddenly, this auntie beside me smiled. Out of politeness, I smiled back and continued to stone with my earpiece. Then.. She started talking. Could faintly hear some noise and again, out of politeness, decided to take off my earpiece and listen to what she was saying.

And that was the start of a 10min rambling on her side. Asked me if I live in Bedok (do I have a Bedok face!?!?) and said she lives in Chai Chee.. And that she has to take the train to Bishan to work and she has a lazy colleague. Basically, I knew about her life story in 10min. She was reluctant to get off the train at Bedok and continued to talk even though the doors has opened?

Do I have a "please tell me your life story" or "please complain to me as much as you like" face!?

Very busy tutor

2011-04-16T11:30:00.000+08:00

Could have been a school teacher doing his extra duties meeting students on a weekend. But that seems to be exploiting that one cup of Starbucks coffee way too much even. The students came one after another, and I've completely lost count of the students who's come and go, despite sitting right next to the table of tutoring. At least 10? This is like a PW marathon.. o.o

Very happy with my Starbucks pairing this morning.

Officially in love with cocoa cuppachino; tastes even better than mocha/dark mocha/java chips, not that sweet but retain that same level of cocoa ♥

Can't wait for June and USA!

One min before lunch time

2011-04-13T12:30:00.000+08:00

Random flash to this morning when I woke up with a heart beat rate of probably around 200.

I must stop dreaming silly non constructive dreams!

Hmm.. What an oxymoron. Constructive dreams. Lol.

Lunch!

The year is moving way too fast

2011-04-10T23:27:00.000+08:00

Caught a glimpse of my google calendar while switching tabs just now; realised that Wednesday is already 13 Apr. It's mid Apr without me realising it!! Life passes too fast these days.. Mon-Fri, Fri-Sun, and the cycle continues each week. Fierce. At this rate it will be the end of the year before I know it again!

I think this also shows how fluid things now are, and how despite the lesser students this year I seem to have lesser time for myself. Slowly finding that balance back in life before I (hopefully) lose it again for 2012 and 2013!

Yes, I believe 2012 is not the end of the year. -.-"

But before anything else, it's Monday again soon and the start of yet another Mon-Fri. Sleep time!

Operation 打好關係

2011-04-08T15:09:00.000+08:00

Succeeded?

But the first questions they ask me were

1) Are you getting married?!

2) Are you leaving service?!

3) Is it your birthday!?

o_o

But that aside, still very thankful to them for what they have done so far.. Or what they have to do for the coming months!

French textbooks vs French

2011-04-03T22:16:00.002+08:00

How to learn grammaire like that?!

French textbooks are after all (probably) designed by French. And thus, like French, they have that same element of pride in their language. That pride which will outweigh any other pride, especially towards English speaking people! And that was how the above came about. How to learn grammar like that for a level 1 noob who wants to learn French by himself/herself?? You know, at least my Jap textbook explains itself clearly (in terms of grammar usage), even though the entire textbook is in Japanese. And thus noobs are not suitable for such textbooks!

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Jumped out of bed

2011-04-01T10:49:00.000+08:00

@ 9.30 am in the morning feeling not rested because I thought I missed a flight (to somewhere).. What a realistic dream. ...

Let's hope no other flights that I take in this lifetime will be such a scenario!!! Missing it once was BAD enough. :o

End of the week (came early!)

2011-03-31T11:30:00.000+08:00

Very, very very glad that I'm on leave tomorrow. Super duper glad, with all the pull and push factors!! Yay I finally have a chance to relax after the crazy March. :)

But for now.. Files and more files first!

Major revamp

2011-03-27T02:22:00.000+08:00

Over a couple of things, including the blog as well as updating Friendster (?!?!) I know, it's like, is Friendster even still existent?! But well, I log in for certain reasons. Can't believe I did what I just did, but let's see what happens and if I will eventually get what I want.

Apparently, all these weren't in my mind when I made up my mind over at ah ma hse to come back and study french! And it's now 2.14am. Congratulations. I guess I needed to clear my mind and this kind of nonsensical stuff normally does work in helping the former!

I think the level of innate stress is piling up and whilst I'm glad to have the chance to learn to be more resilient, another part of me is freaking out at the thought of it all and the level of expectations, and the possibility of mismatch of expectations. I would think it's a rather good thing that the workplace is far. Else I might be tempted to be holed up @ the workstation 24/7 just to finish reading ALL the files. Oh man. But it's ok. What does not kill me, makes me stronger.

And in a flash, March is ending and I guess it's becoming a reality that I'm pushing this year's plans to next yr, and next yr's plans to the year after. I can't say if I'm silly or what, but that's the way I am and that's the way I'll be, don't think I'll be changing anytime soon. I didn't even have the time to stop and think about it the entire month. Or maybe subconsciously I'm really lazy, or I'm really scared. But that's that, for now. Chapter closed.

And whilst one path seems very clear, the rest are all still hazy and I don't wanna think about it and I don't care at least for the time being. Let it come should it come and if it happens, it happens.

加油加油加油

2011-03-21T10:52:00.000+08:00

I don't think it was news that anyone of us would have expected to hear. esp when it was supposed to be a happy occasion.. Let's only hope that the kid is fine and everything will sort itself out though I don't exactly know what had happened.

加油!

The boss(es)

2011-03-18T11:06:00.000+08:00

And I am ever glad that these two immediate bosses are, well, my immediate bosses. It struck me very deep that boss remembers that I am not too pro-caffeine in the late afternoon and hence bought coke instead of green tea (I know, coke has caffeine too). It was really the thought that counted, the little things that I thought I mentioned in passing but people actually remember.

This kind of gesture probably gets to me more effectively than any other thing.

French class

2011-03-17T14:10:00.002+08:00

I've decided to stop procrastinating. Will sign up for French as soon as I've plowed through my old textbooks ~~and to prevent being too broke to sign up~~!

Complaints - the nature of Singaporeans

2011-03-16T19:22:00.002+08:00

When someone complains to me, I watch my behaviour and try my best not to interrupt with my own (perhaps similar) matters, because I think all the complaining party wants is a listening ear. Being very mindful of this, I will purposely stop myself when I catch myself subconsciously doing it. I'm but Singaporean after all.

When you are the listening ear, do you do that or do you not care about the complaining party and go on to vent your frustrations on the person who was hoping to get some relief by talking to you?

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Dear ♥

2011-03-10T09:27:00.000+08:00

Thanks for the card! It totally brightened up the night when I came home =) Like I say, it totally came at a correct time.. Hehe.

May our friendship last forever!

Stand by-ing

2011-03-08T18:23:00.000+08:00

I've got a very strong feeling that this is time wasted.. Hmmm. Will someone go get him and ask!? :\

The mystery of the tangling and untangling.

2011-03-06T23:49:00.000+08:00

As a kid, I've always thought about why things get tangled up. To a kid, it's a very simple logic of if you tangle it in this way, why shouldn't the reverse process be as easy and straightforward?

As an adult, I finally realised (and I think statistics helped) that while there are so many thousand different possibilities and ways of tangling something, there can only be one way of untangling it - by going the exact reverse process.

And that is why things get tangled up so easily, but untangling it becomes so hard.

To think in my teens I was proud of unveiling such a simple piece of logic!

JJ concert is as usual, ♥

2011-03-06T03:26:00.002+08:00

Honestly, were you even expecting any other comments!?

In short, just ♥ and more ♥ .

During the 3 hrs, I totally thought of nothing but the concert. Even forgot Janelle, amongst others. :) The rock element was too good and the atmosphere was too fab!

And the images shown for the encore piece brought back sooooooooooooooooo many memories of previous parties, concerts. Ahh can't wait for the next one!!!

OMG IT'S NEARLY 4. Time to sleep even when I don't feel like it!

Lunch time on a Friday

2011-03-04T14:45:00.000+08:00

The mood change was huge. Good colleagues, nice food, funny waiters @ the restaurant.. Can't help but smile. :))

I need to sleep!

2011-03-03T22:32:00.000+08:00

Yes, I need to sleep.

Slight depression

2011-03-01T19:41:00.000+08:00

Over disappointment @ myself.

It's just one of those moments where effort doesn't pay off; one of those moments where more effort could be made but no, that didn't happen; one of those moments where everything should have been clarified but not at the first moment, causing inevitable delay; one of those moments where you try to reassure yourself that "I didn't know about this hence I couldn't have done that" but deep down you know that there is a slight chance that you should know and reassuring yourself doesn't make things any better.

I think it's worse to disappoint yourself than to have others disappointed at you.

I guess after saying so much about the other party, perhaps I am not any better myself. Who am I to criticise when I have not done everything right too. At least, he has his expertise. Me? Neither here nor there.

Maybe I'm suddenly just dreading Friday because I do not want to see that I have disappointed her.

One million things

2011-02-26T15:19:00.002+08:00

Of which not all has got to do with work.

I guess I'm frantically trying to sort everything out in my mind. The human procrastination gene is seriously potent. I hope it won't be too late by the time I sort out my thoughts. That said, the level of commitment is scary; can I do it?

Do it, don't do it, do it, don't do it....

I love the collage~

2011-02-22T23:00:00.001+08:00

Felt really happy doing it.. :) Bits and pieces of my life. Just included my work mates in as well :))

The special people in my life. Now I can be reminded of them everyday!

I think this is what I need. A reminder of it.

This sucks.

2011-02-19T01:53:00.001+08:00

This really sucks.

Too fast, too furious

2011-02-18T15:18:00.000+08:00

Too soon. Even though from their PoV it is not soon.. But..

Where will I be in June!?!?!? *sigh* Just when there is this great tacit with some people here..

For I understand, I understand it all

2011-02-17T14:21:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, as much as I think I speak rationally, maybe it's only rational to me. And if I were to speak "irrationally" in any sense of sorts, I would say I completely can understand these feelings. Because being an oversensitive idiot means being subjected to these feelings one thousand times more for something that's probably worth one thousand times less. Perhaps "magnifying glass" is appropriate for such descriptions.

And perhaps it is precisely because that I understand these feelings, that I can speak "rationally" because it's definitely not wise to go the other direction and get one all messed up for probably the other party's not gonna heck it anyway.

Yeah, being that oversensitive person, just like to get super emo over someone else's business. Not even sure whether what I'm typing is coherent anymore, but I guess it's on the spur of the moment.

Intricate ties, delicate ties.

Nodding off..

2011-02-15T22:12:00.000+08:00

Overslept, yesterday. Almost overslept, today.

I think it's time to retreat to the bed and curl up with a book and sleep before 11 today! Rather than staying at the table and getting stung by the mosquito left right centre up down. Roar!

Wake up time FAILED.

2011-02-13T13:00:00.000+08:00

Shucks; supposed to wake up at 9.45. Totally turned off the alarm and woke up at 11.30 instead. Well done.

Ok, the aftermath of yesterday hit me. I guess I knew it a long time ago, but despite that, had to ask the prof for certainty. And now the million dollar question is, do I move forward?

At least I guess I still have some time to consider. The commitment part is seriously scary.

One piece of news = one more awake hour because it's just so WTH

2011-02-13T01:09:00.000+08:00

Really, WTH x 100 times also not enough!!

TMD TMD TMD.

Blood boiling. Why the hell should I have been so responsible. Some day I should try being irresponsible and walk out. I haven't known the feeling of such before.

I HATE BEING RESPONSIBLE.

明明就想要，又要到處找人讓。

2011-02-10T21:35:00.002+08:00

一點都不好受。

這一定是最“錯”的“對”事。

Bad bad monday

2011-02-07T23:17:00.001+08:00

To start work. What with a persistent headache and train breaking down and walking straight into ADAD when I'm late and getting off so late for work I reached late for Titus and blues from spending too long a weekend and yes, advertisements on radio and TV.

Dead beat

2011-02-06T23:22:00.000+08:00

After Sentosa Flowers became a hike and being "trained" by Janelle and Nicole, probably will be so cui tomorrow esp after a loooooong weekend.. Wonder if it helps that I already started the "healing" process by sleeping 1.5 hrs earlier on. Oh man headaches kill :(

I guess it's time to retire to bed and prep for tomorrow.. It's a long week ahead.. For more reasons than 1. *sigh*

In continuation...

2011-02-06T02:56:00.002+08:00

I guess I will just do it. That's it. That's nothing viable that I can think of and since I can't tell lies to save my life, guess it's time.

I think I am beginning to appreciate the meaning of "love-hate relationship".

One week and counting down

2011-02-05T13:43:00.002+08:00

And no solutions found. Sigh.

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The cutest lil' Janelle

2011-02-05T10:22:00.002+08:00

She prolly is going to be a very difficult girl for her bf when she grows up in the future.. Knows what she wants, knows what to do to get it!

Evidence: the fact that everyone was cuddling over her when kor kor accidentally knocked her head - but still she didn't relent and headed straight to her mum for a fresh spate of tears the moment this part ended.

Us: If we had played and knocked ourselves last time, we prolly would have gotten a scolding from our parents.

Janelle: knocked her head and had 3 aunts coo-ing over her not-really-existent bump on the head.

The power of Janelle. :))

CNY day 2

2011-02-04T13:51:00.001+08:00

Started off with one lousy conversation that leaves me feeling very pissed off at a couple of those relatives. But nvm, because today is another great day and I am going to win back some $!! LOL. Had a lot of fun yesterday and fun photos.. :))

Janelle hunting part 2 starts today!

CNY Eve

2011-02-02T17:37:00.001+08:00

Ok, I have a good 2 hrs (more) to while away before 赤壁 starts. Hurray to the start of a super uber long weekend!!!

Ok that someone is drinking again. Grrr.

That aside, had a good half day @ work today and #2 is back and thus email is flooded again! But didn't appreciate the arrows which came.. Zzz..

Rushed off to hv lunch at Bedok Point after work and I took a (supposedly) leisure walk to Grandma hse for reunion dinner. Turns out to be quite a fair bit of work cuz of the high heels!! But memories.. when I pass by the route. Like TJ swimming lessons. And the same route which I took a few yrs back.

But the new year is about having a fresh start and forgetting the past! Have a good one, y'all!

Back to gym today

2011-02-01T15:29:00.000+08:00

And feel v cui - probably because I've not exercised for soooooooooo long. But it does feel good to bring mini out again and start off the routine.

Thought of tomorrow and had a flashback of Esplanade Park some yrs back.

Quite sensitive whenever I hear JJ's songs on video now.

Meeting in an hour!

Random, ramblings.

Peaceful morning

2011-01-31T11:06:00.000+08:00

So far, so good.. We can only pray and hope that there's no influx of emails AFTER I come back from Pine Tree. Zzz.

Bloody rain.. Amazed that the word "rain" hasn't yet trend in on Twitter!! Roar.

One more hr to lunch, then to recee.. Mega zzz.

Say NO to shark's fin!!!

2011-01-30T22:08:00.003+08:00

Coincidental meet

2011-01-28T00:41:00.001+08:00

Met my 三伯母 at the clinic just now. Apparently same symptoms of sore throat but she's worse off cuz she can't even speak without difficulty. Got a little update about 三伯 and started to shake my head.. Haiz. A leopard never changes its spots eh. I guess people don't really repent until it's often too late. Just like 大伯。

Kinda sad that things have evolved until such. How hopeless can it be when your daughter and wife choose to give up on you?

Functioning zombie.

2011-01-26T23:59:00.000+08:00

If you're wondering whether one can function normally without using brain cells, I think can. At least that's what been happening for the past couple of weeks. As usual, hoping for March to pass soon!! zzz.

That the level of discomfort. I think that's it.

Mega brain cells zzz

2011-01-23T00:13:00.000+08:00

I always envy my colleagues for being able to pick up their area of expertise so fast, so easily. More than once I doubted whether it's because I am not as capable of doing so (slow brain, anyone?) but as always I have to remind myself that our work functions are different. Policy based vs process based. Thus, while they can be busy because of various processes, often we are not as busy (not my main JD anyway. Can't say for the other duties..........).

However, when queries come in, it's time to suss out those cases by working the brain cells. More than once when I'm just too tired mentally to keep on killing the brain cells, I'll send the draft back to boss without a second thought. Needless to say, those drafts nearly always get slaughtered and butchered.

And thus that will open up more questions of why I am not learning fast enough to end the slaughtering. Slowly, but surely, though, I am beginning to understand how to structure it from the end user PoV. My net is surely not as wide as 12 yrs worth of experience, but it's slowly expanding.. :) Albeit my net is the smallest of us three lah. :\

And that is the primary reason why I signed up for the talk on 12 Feb. Hmmm. Listening does no harm, I suppose.

7 days later, same old thing!

2011-01-22T15:53:00.002+08:00

Was desperately trying to finish my newsletter last weekend so that I can send it out a little after mid month.

One week later, still not done. -.-" But at least I'm definitely in better condition than last week to complete what I wanna do. Must finish the newsletter by today!

Although we didn't really had a hand in the delivery of content for the workshop, I feel rather proud of it :) The speakers were engaging, participants were responsive. Overall, it should have been quite a fruitful session! But of course, only the feedback form can confirm that now. Even I got new perspectives for us who are supposedly more proficient in the area. Now, if only we can afford to do that for everyone in the div..

3 tasks down, 1 more to go which has got nothing to do with me. Technically, he didn't do much either. As much as the gripes I had earlier about them, still want to work with them for more projects to come! And to do that, we have to seek permission.. Hmmm.

Mixed feelings about the possible reorg. But shall not dwell on it until it becomes reality.

Oh well. Next up, the div event! Arrows are painful. But it doesn't seem like there's anywhere to escape, so I guess gr and I will have to bite it!

加油！

________________________________________________

And I guess it's one way or the other, and I'm leaning more towards this way, which is the very irresponsible way. Oh how.

WeekEND

2011-01-16T23:31:00.000+08:00

And thus the short break ends, and it's another round of Mon-Fri ahead. Quite packed this week; and it doesn't help that 20th Jan is coming!!! Shudders. Let's just hope there's no major screw up somewhere. On the other hand, a certain fish has gone, and thus even though I may constitute a small part of why the fish is gone, it's time to celebrate!

Went K with a combi which I've nv tried before, today. Quite fun, even though I probably have to suffer the consequences to the throat tomorrow! As it is, a huge lump has formed, no thanks to a couple of bak kwa pieces and the chocolate fondue on Friday :( How I wish I can take MC tmr, but yet quite afraid of sudden changes to be absent from work this week.

I was surprised that I had accidentally pried so much into his private life; and even more surprised that he had let me know the gist of the story without concealing the facts. In any case, *respect* for facing it and although it's but another alarming statistic, my heart goes out to him.

It must be time for bed now, my head is spinning and nose is running and eyes are tearing and I really wanna MC tmr rahhhhh.

Don't act as if the world owes you a living.

2011-01-15T23:02:00.002+08:00

Just because you are hungry or in a bad mood doesn't mean you can give a black face to the whole world and start behaving like everyone has let you down.

No one owes you anything.

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Very very nua

2011-01-15T16:41:00.001+08:00

End up being so unproductive because I simply cannot read more than one para in one go and need to rest my eyes so very often. Very uncomfortable, indeed.

Dozing off in Starbucks is very dangerous, indeed. But it's so tempting.. I need to close my eyes for a while :(

Heavy rain outsideeeeeeee.

Pre retail therapy

2011-01-13T23:42:00.002+08:00

Spent about 200 bucks today.

But didn't get any feeling of shiokness.

I guess I am really too irritated. To not even notice the surroundings from the bus to the toothpaste.

Stopping my One Piece for these few days.. Until I can fully appreciate them again.

Sleep. To curb hunger. Hopefully I wake up with a voice. Without very weird dark colors of phlegm.

Mega booboo.

2011-01-12T22:22:00.003+08:00

I thought sniffling and sneezing and coughing was bad enough. Apparently no :(

Shouldn't have jinxed myself by praying that it wouldn't clash with anything.. Namely, CHINGAY.

Apparently already very reluctant to join Chingay right at the start, and it's totally not giving me any more reasons to like it. Esp when I have a good half day tomorrow and have to end up @ practice. And the mega boohoo which Fabian mentioned just now.

I hadn't missed a single JJ Party since it started, except for the time when I was in Switzerland! :(

Upset.

Lethargic - Whose fault?

2011-01-11T23:21:00.000+08:00

1) Lousy weather

2) Stupid coffee

And I hope to wake up and feel miraculously energetic and well because there is NO time to take MC this week and the next!!

Oh man 20 Jan you don't have to come so soon. Really.

First 8am Sunday of the year

2011-01-09T21:33:00.000+08:00

Seems like it's getting more and more common! Got up at 7.55am, after tossing and turning the entire night, being wrapped in the blanket and without the fan! It was freezing coldddddddd. Not to mention my subconscious being VERY conscious about not damaging the hair!

Did ALOT of things during the first half of the day (read: 8am to 2pm) by going for a run, making both breakfast and lunch, and scrubbing and mopping everything else! I feel hardworking :D Totally slacked after that -.-" And now I'm tired and it's time to sleep soon but I have not settled anything! Zzzz.

But I'm looking forward to work tmr cuz there's new stuff to learn!! :D

Good luck to all O level-ers tomorrow!

Kena condemned liao loh

2011-01-04T15:17:00.002+08:00

Yesterday, I got condemned @ my ah ma hse.

First my uncle didn’t tell my ah ma that I'll be going there for dinner (or so she said). So when I reached, I think she was quite (*#$# to know that I was gonna eat dinner (read: her food) there. Subsequently, I took rice using a bowl and started eating. My student arrived before time so I brought the student in first to get him started.

In the midst of it all, my uncle came in and said I used the wrong bowl (!?!?) cuz that's HIS bowl - and that my ah ma was grumbling away.

When my student left, I went to let August out of the room, only to earn a "who put the dog there in the first place!?" very obviously directed at me.

-.-" I'm already in my ah ma's version of hell.

Of family

2011-01-03T18:46:00.002+08:00

Randomly thought about what neighbor said yesterday, and randomly thought about what happened on Sat night when we were about to go back home.

Probably for the first time I felt that my bro and I are REALLY similar in character. AHAHA. :P

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