KO-ed

Fell asleep at 8.20pm.

Woke up at 11.20pm.

3 hours nap. And still very sleepy. Would have continued to sleep if not for the fact that I haven't pack anything for tmr and I ENDED UP DREAMING ABOUT THE ENTIRE SCENERIO FOR THE WHOLE OF NEXT WEEK. Grrr. Even dreamt that I forgot to go tuition tmr. What the...

Cui. Don't know how to go work tmr with the stupid nose, but yet must go for it's THE week. And everything still seems so unsettled.

French french french.

There's a lot of things which I would like to pen down but won't be able to because it's been suppressed for too long and I wouldn't know how to start anyways.

But I do know that I dreamt of French yesterday. As well as some other stuff.

And I so so so want to take French back. Je veux parler francais! Grr.

CM1101 and CM1131

Things that I've done 5 yrs ago..! 

Now I'm looking through them all over againnnnn. It's like.. Taking another BSc (Chemistry). Lol! No thanks to my brother. Every night this week while he was chionging lab reports, I see his gleaming eyes and I know I'm in trouble. Ask lab manual stuff, ask excel stuff, and the best case was yesterday!

I was reading my book with my door closed on my bed. Preparing to sleep after reading mah. And the door creaked. And I looked up from my book. There he was! And I raised one eyebrow because 11.30pm and him peeping in means nothing is good. AND HE GRINNED! Okay.. The start of the end. Handed his lab manual to me. Me peeked at the question.

"Tutorial questions?"

"No, exercise questions. Wanted to ask you yesterday but you slept already." Uh-oh. 

Pored through the question - it was not difficult, just tedious. Wrote down everything and gave it to him and he grinned again.

My final sentence to him: "Oh no, for the next 3 years it'll be like that....."

:s

That said, I kinda pity his batch of chem students. No reference report is one thing, 2 lab reports in a week is another thing! Madnesssssss chem dept. Sadistic man.

The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest

Nothing will keep me away from this book until its end.. Not my phone games, not 8 days, not nothing!!

From seriously reading last Tuesday until now, 2 1/3 books. Not bad, huh.

Seabreeze!

I vaguely remember there was once I went to the beach by myself some random weekday many, many years ago. With a book and gentle breeze and some sun and some quality time with myself.

I think I missed that. 

Maybe it's time for another of such escapades, after IP Forum. After all, what is leave for?

And the whole idea took root after Fabian went: stop imagining!!! Hahaha.

Kudos to Pisceans for having the world's most imaginative brain and vivid images.

因为幸福如履薄冰

Liked this quote ever since I first heard it from 陳欣怡 2 years ago. Because I feel that it is ever so true, and it can be applied to some other terms as well..

Like, trust. 

Trust, is something that presents great vulnerability. To trust = to give others a possible chance to hurt you. It's like.. handing another person a gun and hoping that the person won't shoot you.

And with this definition, it's no wonder that I close myself off to all others. 

And therefore with no real trust, how does it get broken? Hmm, need to ponder over it..

And this is an issue I can only take up with myself. Hopefully I get some answers out of myself.

And so I've sunk once more, into oblivion. It's been a long time since I've appeared offline. 

Sat night in

It's not half bad to come back at 4plus, bathe, watch parents go 三舅 hse and not follow; nap for 1 hr and watch some tv, have some duck + tea egg for dinner while watching movies on laptop -> TV. 

My only gripe is that I'm still hungry~

And I spoiled my own ending

Everyone has some form of obsession in their lives. And I think I have a mild case of OCD. The part about numbers and arranging and what nots. Blah.

Wanted to get The Girl Who Played with Fire yesterday since I've finished the first book. Headed to Popular at about 9 and found the movie version of the book, which was not what I wanted. Asked for the original cover, and the salesman said that that particular cover was out of stock. Even though the movie cover version had 30% off, I was soooooooooooooooo reluctant to get it because my first book is the one with original cover!! Even the auntie @ Popular understood my reluctance. 

Didn't get it in the end and got the The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest because it also had a discount, and I badly needed something to read. 

Read 20 pages on the train this morning and instantly regretted it.. :( First 20 pages basically gave a summary of the second book. :(:(:(

真是自作自受。

Very traumatised.

Person in front of me was blind and. Stepped on a snail. Crushed it completely and thoroughly. I totally heard the crushing as if via slow motion and my heart broke too. :( I must have been a snail in my past life.

And the scene is still replaying itself in my head now :(

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Animosity

I somehow have to prevent it from surfacing.. Until the next time it happens.

JB this Saturday - Yeah it's the first time I'm going there! So do not contact me from Fri night to Sat night. 

 

Guess it was a very wrong idea to head for gym yesterday. Rah to my own stupidity and won't the pain just go away?!? 

 

And it's a Tuesday, again. Let's see what will happen because I told my mum I'll go back for dinner no matter what! Hopefully I will have the appetite to eat when I reach home..

Aftershock

Aftershock was good. Very good. Was very immersed in the movie throughout and totally focused on the show.

Then the show ended and everything came back.

The 表姨 or 老姨 or whoever she is must have thought that I was a spoiled brat staring at them pack up.. Well.. I was just stoning too much to move. Not that I really care what she thinks anyway.

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And here it is again

The feeling of puking is omnipresent every Tuesday, sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't.

:(

Junhong's 21st

ALL started with a phone call that had me ready in.. 20min. Inclusive of packing and what nots. WHAT a way to start off the day!! Reached Downtown East after bathing and packing in record time and bought MEGA loads of fruits and rubbish food.. :D

Deco-ed the place and don't know why it was 5pm so soon! Rushed back to Weisheng's hse to get some last min stuff and off we went back to the chalet! Seriously, a normal work day is not this tiring :s But the party went well and everyone was happy enough. Talked to loads of people I had not been talking to in a while and it was :) Didn't realise the whole thing dragged this late until I called my dad to tell him that I would be staying over @ the chalet, only to realise that it was already 1am.. @_@

Fooled around until 4plus and slept.. Till 9. So little sleep yet I couldn't sleep any longer.. Originally wanted to go for breakfast, do some work, go for tuition and go home to sleep like a log.. None of that happened in the end -_- except for the work part (well, partly at least). Ended up cancelling tuition because I was so tired but not sleeping and in the end playing mahjong?!? Watched a movie at 1am somemore?!?!?! Hahahaha but the movie was okay lah. Just the timing was -_- Fighting my way to stay awake throughout the entire movie after having napped for 1hr prior to the movie. Totally fell into deep deep sleep in that one hour that I didn't want to wake up -_-

Spent today meeting up with the few guys and it was fun :) Although it really wasn't anything interesting but a meal.. Lol.

And that concluded the very tiring long weekend and I suspect I will be stoning at work and at tuition tmr AGAIN with aches everywhere and a tingling pain in the neck and more 青草油 @ the thumb wahaha.

Dripping with sarcasm

I only just realised today that being upset and being damn sarcastic comes hand in hand for me. I am being very mean with my words at this moment. 

Over disappointment, I guess. Really just cannot believe that I spent 8 months for naught, because I can hardly believe any miraculous thing will happen in the last 2 months. 

6 months of 1x a week + 2 months of 2x a week. 

It is really the worst feeling to know that after 8 months of 付出 there isn't at least any form of mental compensation. And I'm not even asking for remuneration. Not even asking for anything. Just results. I tried damn hard but really no words could express how lousy I was feeling the moment I saw the papers.

And that's the thing I sadly can't get right now. Maybe over tolerance was the cause. But in any case there is no way to turn back the time and I am not so silly to wish that a miracle will happen on 4th, 6th and 8th October.

There can be 100 successful students but it will only take one student for me to completely doubt myself and my ability to teach.

And then I guess that everyone could be quite involved in their own matters and since I wasn't being expressive enough that little bit of disappointment at being ignored shouldn't be there, but it was.

哽咽。

♥ being patriotic

Had our National Day Observance this morning, and boy, our officers were quite onz, decked in red and waving their flags. Had some performances, sang some songs, and this is why I like to go NDP so much - it's very rare to see so many patriotic people in a day! I like it that no matter how distracted we are talking to each other or fiddling with phones or whatever during the observance, but when the national anthem starts or when SMS speaks everyone will just drop what they are doing and silence is attained in an instant. It tells me how much we respect our national anthem and the significance of keeping silent for the anthem, the pledge and everything else under the sun. I AM proud of being a Singaporean because nothing is perfect, even if I have my own gripes about Singapore and its society. 

We should all move forward with pride and Singapore will grow even more with time (: Happy early birthday my nation!

________________________________

Taking a little time off to blog because I am stumped with what to write for my draft email.. It's been more than a little discouraging in some ways and whilst I try to be positive, sometimes it's just hard to be when response is 100 / 400+++++ people and damn the particular unit for ignoring me!!!! Grrr. Getting butchered emails doesn't help either, WHEN will I learn to write such that it will come back with minimal changes?? 

And I suspect I will be hella busy for the next few months all the way until March with 4 new projects, 3 under me, one existing one ongoing, the forum next month, and CAS next March for the entire div! And there is then the pressure of completing the database because the dateline was supposedly the end of this yr.. And that is on top of the usual work. Okay at least the database was part of the usual work.

Ahaha and not to mention tuition. 

I'm sorry, but really where got time to go PA? I highly suspect I may have forgotten how to blow dizi, lol..

Bad bad night

Slept at 12plus, woke up at 2 plus, 4 plus, 5 plus, 6, 6.30, 6.45, before finally waking up at 6.50. :(

爲什麽 爲什麽 爲什麽！Need someeee goooodddd sleeeeepppppppp. 

And I am really asking for it by always complaining but still went to organise tons of other stuff. Blah. 

May today pass faster.

It simply is discouraging.

When u realise all that effort is for naught. And when expectations are not met.