Dripping with sarcasm

I only just realised today that being upset and being damn sarcastic comes hand in hand for me. I am being very mean with my words at this moment. 

Over disappointment, I guess. Really just cannot believe that I spent 8 months for naught, because I can hardly believe any miraculous thing will happen in the last 2 months. 

6 months of 1x a week + 2 months of 2x a week. 

It is really the worst feeling to know that after 8 months of 付出 there isn't at least any form of mental compensation. And I'm not even asking for remuneration. Not even asking for anything. Just results. I tried damn hard but really no words could express how lousy I was feeling the moment I saw the papers.

And that's the thing I sadly can't get right now. Maybe over tolerance was the cause. But in any case there is no way to turn back the time and I am not so silly to wish that a miracle will happen on 4th, 6th and 8th October.

There can be 100 successful students but it will only take one student for me to completely doubt myself and my ability to teach.

And then I guess that everyone could be quite involved in their own matters and since I wasn't being expressive enough that little bit of disappointment at being ignored shouldn't be there, but it was.

哽咽。