晴天，不

今天有一点小Emo..

Misconceptions

"Your job like very relaxed hor, no need to OT." 

"But I OT you also donno what. I do reach home at 8 or 9."

"You reach home at 8 or 9 my daughter still in office"

Well, I always see your daughter at home when I come home. How about that?

That's why one must nv assume. No matter how slack a person's work seems to be, you will never know the true story behind it.

The inhumanity of it all

-Later, when interviewed by a journalist, one of the passersby, a middle-aged man riding a scooter, said with an uncomfortable smile on his face: "That wasn't my child. Why should I bother?"-

Source: The Guardian

I had thought that the 18 people will be guilt-ridden for the rest of their lives for failing to save the kid, who might have survived if any of them had pulled her aside to prevent the second driver from ramming into her. But no, looks like at least one of them are not going to be guilty of anything after all.

This callousness and the inhumanity of it all made me sick and more than slightly depressed. I'm not sure if it's because it's a kid who died that got me so worked up since I have this inexplicable tenderness for kids, or the fact that I've realised that there are people without consciences, who can watch a kid bleed and dying on the road and not lift a finger to help, and head home to their dinners guilt-free knowing that whoever has died is none of their businesses. 

What if the kid had been yours and the other people refused to help?

9/11

Reports of 9/11 have been circulating around the past week, in view of the upcoming 10th anniversary.

This report from ST nearly broke my heart.

10 years ago, on 9/11, I was but a Secondary 3 student, and in the few minutes before school started, I can still remember clearly that I was in the classroom surfing the net using the only computer, and read some news of the attack. 

And 10 yrs ago, that attack didn't mean much to me at that point of time because I hardly even knew about the existence of the Twin Towers. It wasn't until very much later in the evening that I knew the full extent, when coverage of the attack was everywhere on every channel.

10 years later, the pain and loss of 3k people is still felt by people, and especially immediate members of the family. 

I think it's a blessing just to be alive and surrounded with your loved ones. Treasure it, before it is too late.

Reminiscences

I think none of you knew that I used to write SMS-es into notebooks to prevent losing them. 

Childish? Yes, I think so. Crazy? Not that mental, of course. Only SMS-es I felt were important to me. Over the course of 2 JC years, I think I only had a handful. Thus it wasn't like I spent half of my life copying those SMS-es. 

Silly as it might be, when I chanced upon them today, it really brought back tons of memories, and I could remember exactly when each SMS came, for which event, whatever I was feeling at that time.

The feeling of reminiscences is good. 

For life made you into what you are today, ain't it? :)

It has been getting harder and harder

In aspects more than 1, I have to admit.

Some things I know I should not be feeling this way; but I can't help it. Some I know I should not have reacted that way; but I can't help it. Some things I know are out of my control; but I still want to do it.

And some things I know I should be doing, but procrastinating.

And when all comes together, I'm in a downright terrible mood right now.

Grouchy

Numerous factors made me very, very grouchy indeed. I can't even pinpoint the exact one.

Perhaps I shouldn't have been that hostile; but perhaps subconsciously I did. Perhaps I shouldn't even have felt guilty for being mean, but I still did.

Nothing pleased me today lah. :( I need a good break.

Think I had enough

Sometimes I try to be rational. And sometimes I failed. It's the times when I failed that it really sucks.

I am sorely disappointed.

I am fed up with the "you are civil servant, so you have to vote for PAP." HELLO, FOR THE LAST BLOODY TIME, CIVIL SERVICE CONSTITUTES MORE THAN THAT. I AM FROM THE EXECUTIVE BRANCH. THE PARLIAMENT IS FROM THE LEGISLATIVE BRANCH.

And I find it totally ungracious for my views to be dismissed just because I am different.

I am very, very disappointed. And sad.

Angsty

And I must split this into two posts for I do not want to taint the other post. Besides, by the time I finish this it will probably go into the next day. That much that I am angsty about. I think the heat of elections has not done much to help :(

I just feel like cutting a certain person's brain and pull all the brain cells to link together!!!

That aside, another someone has made me feel that the length of time does not matter anymore; whether it is one day, or a month, or even a year. The level of bo chup-ness is highly disturbing. But it's ok, I have thoroughly given up.

Angsty, angsty. And I must stay away from too full + milk. Seriously.

Too angsty to sleep so early leh.

Managing expectations (II)

And perhaps if someone doesn't intend to continue on something when the expectation is raised, then my advice would be, to not raise it in the first place. There's no need for the rise and fall of emotions when something is not replied to or when someone doesn't intend to reply, ain't it? Or perhaps there is too much fun to waylaid the original intentions, but that cannot be an excuse for anything.

Or perhaps I am just being oversensitive as usual. 

Or maybe I should be the one to lower my expectations and not expect everyone to be like me.

Or maybe I am the only one and unique Aunt Agony amongst the people I know so the rest cannot be.

Lunch time on a Friday

The mood change was huge. Good colleagues, nice food, funny waiters @ the restaurant.. Can't help but smile. :))

This sucks.

This really sucks.

For I understand, I understand it all

Sometimes, as much as I think I speak rationally, maybe it's only rational to me. And if I were to speak "irrationally" in any sense of sorts, I would say I completely can understand these feelings. Because being an oversensitive idiot means being subjected to these feelings one thousand times more for something that's probably worth one thousand times less. Perhaps "magnifying glass" is appropriate for such descriptions.

And perhaps it is precisely because that I understand these feelings, that I can speak "rationally" because it's definitely not wise to go the other direction and get one all messed up for probably the other party's not gonna heck it anyway.

Yeah, being that oversensitive person, just like to get super emo over someone else's business. Not even sure whether what I'm typing is coherent anymore, but I guess it's on the spur of the moment.

Intricate ties, delicate ties.

One piece of news = one more awake hour because it's just so WTH

Really, WTH x 100 times also not enough!! 

TMD TMD TMD.

Blood boiling. Why the hell should I have been so responsible. Some day I should try being irresponsible and walk out. I haven't known the feeling of such before.

I HATE BEING RESPONSIBLE.

明明就想要，又要到處找人讓。

一點都不好受。

這一定是最“錯”的“對”事。

Bad bad monday

To start work. What with a persistent headache and train breaking down and walking straight into ADAD when I'm late and getting off so late for work I reached late for Titus and blues from spending too long a weekend and yes, advertisements on radio and TV.

Don't act as if the world owes you a living.

Just because you are hungry or in a bad mood doesn't mean you can give a black face to the whole world and start behaving like everyone has let you down.

No one owes you anything.

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Pre retail therapy

Spent about 200 bucks today.

But didn't get any feeling of shiokness. 

I guess I am really too irritated. To not even notice the surroundings from the bus to the toothpaste.

Stopping my One Piece for these few days.. Until I can fully appreciate them again.

Sleep. To curb hunger. Hopefully I wake up with a voice. Without very weird dark colors of phlegm.

Tired hungry and frustrated.

Too many activities in a day, ending off with tuition and with dinner still on my hands, waiting for 25 min for a bloody cab which is always abundant on the other side of the road, gave up on cab and now waiting for train, with lagi tired legs.

Grouchy me.

With my luck, I'll probably reach home to find that the food is spoiled :(

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