Randomly listening to a song on the bus.

And yes, thinking back, I had been very silly. No more of those silly things ever again!

(and if only the bus would stop roller coasting...)

2003-2010

The maiden post started out in 2003.

結果從以前到現在，我還是沒什麽改變。果然，用永遠不會消失的方法記載我的點點滴滴是有用処的。我的小小腦袋不可能裝得下每一段回憶。儘管有些是害怕別人會知道，所以隱約帶過，但是看到我自己記載過的人，事，物，我還是依然記得清清楚楚。發生的每一個細節，發生了什麽事，當事人是誰，結果怎樣，大多數都能拼湊出來。尤其是。。。

但這也未必是一件完全美好的事。這也代表所有的不開心，生氣，嫉妒，傷心，不滿，鬱悶，閲讀了以後又記憶猶新。儘管是2004年發生的，2005年發生的。 

我只能說，我還是那個完全沒有自信心的人。但自尊又是排得高高的，超強的。我說過，這兩者因該是全天下最糟糕的配搭。似乎有點成熟了，但卻是一種似有似無的感覺。

但最起碼我走出了2003-2007年份。

儅需要一個地方訴苦，但有得確保它不會説話。。秘密博客是最棒的！

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Free movie later! Thanks for the ticket =D One tiny break. Sometimes I wonder what I got myself into by being kind. 

Also sometimes, I wonder if I were too kind. Such that I am easily bullied.

I was clearing my yahoo mail this morning and I saw an update from Friendster (which I don't log into now, btw). Then I saw an update, and I got stunned for a little while. Then I proceeded to log in..

And I spent a fair bit of time reading the updates, and I realized that there has been constant updates, perhaps I just didn't see anything from email updates the last time. But I suppose this is what you call a legacy.. Small scale one, but nonetheless. To have people still thinking of you, to garner constant updates on an account which already belongs to no one..

I think my only immediate response was, will it happen to me if I die one day?

I'm not being suicidal, fyi. It's just an auto thought.. Swarmed with memories for a while.

Maria's memories

After a very long hiatus, Maria is back in my home. Aka, me. For the first time in a few weeks (or is it more than a few?), I stayed at home in the day and hence was able to morph into Maria for the day. Wanted to be more hardworking and wake up at 8, but apparently being able to get a good rest got the better of me and I only woke up at 10plus instead. ...

Nua-ed until 12, ate my very healthy porridge and began to clear out my life. Through things, I mean. I threw away 3 heavy bags of stuff, not including the bag that I threw out the other day when I was looking through my christmas cards. I think Yiwen must be the one to write the most number of cards to me! But if I compare cliques, I think the Sijia+Yiwei+Wileen clique actually owned the rest. I didn't realize so many of my cards were from them in the past.. Although we may have drifted apart, the cards always serve as good memories of what we've been through. Which is why I always keep the stuff people give me, because once I take them out, I will be able to recall the event that took place and that almost always bring a smile back. Memories. :) So it was quite difficult for me to clear out all the stuff that I've kept since primary school today.. I kind of feel sad when I think of the fact that the next time I clear out my room, there will be so much less stuff for me to remiscise about, because I would have forgotten that 90% of the stuff that I threw away existed in the first place..

But bo bian la, house is small, what to do..? I still kept every single card though. They cheer me up more often than not! It keeps me reminded of who I'm still in touch with and who I've not. I am quite a greedy person.. I wished that I could have kept in touch with all my friends since primary school, but apparently no one can really do that ya. Just lament that I had to let some go, and keep some in the process. Clearing out my desk took me the most part of the day. I only finished clearing near 5, and then because of the mess I made, I had to clean the fan, vacuum the floor and mop the floor to keep everything clean. By then it was 6!

And then I kena owned by my mum. I wanted to stay home for dinner, but she was actually not home by 6!! One rare day I was home for dinner, and this had to happen -.- I had to dine out in the end and then go for practice.. And xiaojiu actually asked me to join them in cartel. #$%^&* I so wished I could have joined!!! Sian. Haha.

There's scary driving tmr again. Have to sleep like, now.

Memories

Yesterday I was yawning like mad at 11plus. Then I closed msn and continued to rewatch my TKA because Frank's character in Love or Bread seriously irritated me, I needed to see a sweeter Joe Cheng!

Ok off topic. I went to search for a baby photo for the office party anyways after I off my computer, and because I had no idea where I threw the last photo I took out for PA camp in I don't know when, I had to source out new photos. So I went to flip all the photobooks (ok not all, just a fraction of it) and ended up restraining myself at 1plus.

.....

Haha but memories are addictive. I saw when I was a kid, and when I received awards from my primary school. Photos when I went to Malaysia, ALOT taken during AHS and TJC times, grad night! I actually took photos with so many people, and some I can't even remember the names now. NDP trips together. Saw photos when I was a primary school kid, best friends with Mandy and.. This HK gal I think? Shit lo cannot even remember her name.. But I remembered she has a sis with the same bday as mine! And I saw our mums taking photos together.. That was how close we were back then. 

And then I saw PA camp photos, with their ridiculous "hair" and "sarongs" and stuff, and laughed silently to myself. :) And I saw the TJCO chalet, TJCO outings/gatherings, and I saw hs in all of them! Didn't realize he was present lols. Saw 01/03's outing photos, and teacher's day's photos! Omg Mr Wong with the balloon :s and my 09/04 with their stall during some CNY or something.

And I put my cards together with the photos, so I looked through my cards as well (and some bug jumped out wth?). Saw the countless xmas cards we used to exchange, even from Huizhen, from Yunhan etc. Saw numerous bday cards, even from Xiaofeng. Saw the xmas card that the chem gang sent to Switzerland to me which I received just before I flew off to Belgium for traveling. Saw the card Chongtang gave me during handover. Saw the cards Bettinad and Yanliang sent me after I came back to Singapore. 

I am a very stm person, so seeing all this has a rather big impact of how many memories I shared with so many people. The memories came back only after reminders from photos and cards. :) People who don't like to take photos should def take them more often.. :)

I love memories!

Anticlimax: In the end I found that same baby photo on my desk -.-