Post Japan and pre-Wedding prep

Missing all the Japan food and scenery but not the freezing cold weather!

I'm just glad that most of the itinerary went rather smoothly and though we missed out on a few items, the days were not rushed (we did have to wake up quite early...) and we had time to enjoy the sights. Think I got brownie points with the mum for bringing them to loads of yummy food! Though not sure if those points are cancelled out by the walking..... hahahahah.

Also, officially engaged!

1.5 weeks into being engaged, I officially hate wedding planning. The guest list alone is killing me, and probably axing out the really beautiful places for small weddings. :( Why can't I just ROM and be done with it argh.

Oh well.... 

Project birthday anniversary

It's such an amazing coincidence that the bf was in reservist these few weeks, so that I can plan for his birthday and the anniversary in peace without having the possibility of him coming over and discovering what I was doing!

The lemon tart that took me 2 tries to get it "right" and still without the meringue sigh.

The poor man was so distraught by his reservist on his birthday month (and actual birthday, no less!) I just had to do something nice for him on his actual birthday even though we are only celebrating it this weekend.

And also, I am secretly very excited at planning Sunday, because he knows nuts about my plan hehehehe. 

Next up... Project travel scrapbook! Done and immensely happy with it! Can't believe I've been procrastinating doing up this book for years and he would be the recipient of this in the end. I guess motivation is compelling this time round.

Now I just have to hide it in my luggage to Bintan hehehe.

Doing this makes me so happy looking at the pictures even though I can barely keep my eyes open today!

To Be Continued :)

Birthday 2017

Best birthday. So normal, and so special at the same time.

I remember I once told him, I couldn't stand having to "report" the day's happenings, where I am and what I am doing to WX the period of time we arranged to go MOE together. His reply was I just have to find the correct person to do so and it won't be an "obligation" anymore.

Well.. I guess it's true :)

And it is 2017!

I can't believe I've been blogging (though inconsistently, but still..) for more than 10 years now. (This isn't my first blog...)

So here I am, starting the first post of 2017 on the first work day of the year! The last two weekends were good long weekends and we got so used to it I think I have some blues from starting work.

If I'm gonna recap the year of 2016.. All I want to say is that it's awesome. Eventful, but still mostly awesome. I had that accident in 2015 and in 2016, I upped that level and went for surgery. Wasn't used to having that much attention everywhere and the inactivity after that gosh. One month of staying at home and months of not exercising killed me. 

But still, I was glad the surgery happened, if not god knew when this silly guy would finally have said what he wanted to say since eons ago? I may not have realised all his intentions during the first half of 2016, but I am honestly lucky to have him around, especially when I was upset or when I was stuck at home during the month of Apr. Silly guy found all sorts of excuses to visit me at lunch everyday :) And to think I was worried about him travelling here and there everyday. 

Much loves for turning me into a silly girl whenever I'm with you :)

Work wise was a challenge with staff management but I am learning and I will learn to handle it better! That, really, was the biggest challenge of the ADship. Press on, Joyce!

Friendship has turned somewhat odd and I feel slightly alienated and I really don't understand why we are the target sometimes but sigh, let's just hope the group doesn't disintegrate. I want my bf but I also equally want the friends. 

No resolutions for 2017 but a general wish to keep good things good and perhaps even better. :)

Random post from a cryogenic-ed human

The office is so cold I can't work. And this is true. Currently hating the office so much it's making me depressed.

The man's in reservist for the large part of these two weeks. It's the first time in these months that I haven't seen him for days in a stretch (actually, since the start of the year, I'm inclined to think), and it sure is weird not to have him pop by the house for dinners after our runs. 

On the bright side, he gets out (unofficially) tomorrow! Not too sure about the bro's state of mind to have him hanging around in the house for this period of time, though...

Also, it seems like the gang has stopped hanging out for a while. Last one not counted because Pokemon took over. :( And I am very inclined to think that it's because we got together and I am slightly tired of trying to organise everything all the time. :(

Enough of ranting. Thurs's on its way! :)

3.5 hrs before Mayday Concert!

And I'm itching to get out of office so slightly distracted.

Also, dealing with that churning stomach after many days of rest at home / in office / whatever. 2+1 days MC is a record breaking thing man. At least I could still stand upright unlike the last round of gastric flu - so it must be a milder strain. And I can keep food down! That's a big plus.

And I have a nice huggable human pillow. :D Have sort of spoilt the man's plans by falling sick sadly. But the man had no complaints (as usual) and much loves for accompanying me for the past few days. Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve all these. :)

And then it's Mayday concert later!! Gonna 動次動次~~~ Hopefully I'll be in the mood to jump!

That alienation

You know, I suppose I should be used to it by now, but, somehow deep down it does still affect me.

I understood that by accepting the post, it meant that I wouldn't be able to share everything with everyone, and that everyone will have reservations about sharing anything with me. That, I understood, and I was ok.

Until I wasn't. 

It kind of sucks to want to organise something only to have everyone say ok in front of you and talk otherwise behind your back. I appreciate honest comments right at the start, tyvm. It's alright if you don't want to join, but at least have the decency to reply to my invite or tell me to my face right. 

Sigh.

On the bright side.. At least work is coming together.

And I have a someone who's constantly trying to make me very happy :)

One month of MC

Post surgery has been nothing but old lady and Benjamin Button feel. That shoulder pain was crazy!!!

But everything is now good and though getting back into shape sucks, at least I've removed the cyst and it's no longer a cause for concern (till the next one, that is). 

One month of being at home, in the first week, was terribly boring. In the second week, it was tiring (having to get out slowly but at least getting out of the house). The third and fourth weeks were all about getting back to normal life and I can't believe it but I am getting some semblance of sadness that I'm actually going back to work in 2 days' time. But yes, I'm more than prepped to go back I guess!

And amidst all these, I'm glad that whatever ambiguity that was there, was finally sorted out. :)

人心難測

Because change is the only constant. It's scary because no matter how well you thought you know a person, there is always something to catch you by surprise. Sometimes the surprise is small, but sometimes its recoiling. And that is when you start to wonder if the person has ever said the truth before. 就因爲人心難測。You can guess for a million years but would never know whether a person is telling the truth. Maybe Veritaserum should really exist in the world so that there can be some honesty. 

It hit me really strongly because this is the second case that I see him trying so hard at first but in the end for naught. I wonder if I can label them, scum. Or simply fickle minded.

It runs in the family, the mother-daughter genes

It's been a very long time since I last nua-ed until like that. Other than tuition in the morning, that is. 

Mum is feeling rebellious... Which is high time she started to do so! And therefore I realise where I inherit my character from.. Haha.. :) We're really alike in so many ways. Don't agitate us and we're your best friend. But once you go beyond that line.. That's it! Revenge starts and is sweet.. 

Enough of nua-ing, it's time to start on some work..

Food for thought

In the course of sweating over running IP Forum smoothly, I noticed that all the female lawyers.. are single.

Are they too career oriented? Or too fiercely independent? Or they are so successful that men will develop an inferiority complex whenever they meet these lawyers?? 

Some food for thought..

Uber pandafied

I had a shot at sleep @ noon but I chose not to.

Because that short 2 hrs helped her and I was glad to do it.

Anytime, anyday. :) Always have a listening ear to people who needs it.

A nice quote

When you sit with a nice girl for two hours, you think it's only a minute. But when you sit on a hot stove for a minute, you think it's two hours. That's relativity. - Albert Einstein

Einstein sure has a perceptive way of putting relativity into normal everyday use :b

He has tons of other quotes (click on the title link), but I especially chose this one because I was reading a couple of blogs in the morning, and they happened to be on relationships. Broken relationships, that is. One seemingly perfect marriage, one seemingly perfect relationship. Alright, who doesn't quarrel, right? Forgot to factor in the time spent together during relationships when I was counselling her the other day. More time together = a higher chance of quarrels. But, to quarrel to a point where breaking up is inevitable.. Is kinda scary. Have never thought that they would end up separating, but they did. So this shows, nothing is impossible. Literally. Not even a child can bind people together nowadays. I wonder what kind of heartbreak both parties have to go through before coming to such decisions, and the poor child is probably still thinking why daddy moved out. Sigh.. Such is the reality of life.

I cannot imagine the pain. So I'll rather avoid it. Maybe that's why I somehow just keep running away.. I'm such a perfectionist that I only want ONE, perfect relationship. Or should I say I'm too timid to accept anything else otherwise. :s

Post Malaysia

Just one thing I can and want to comment on, the rest are passé so I shan't harp on them: casinos are really dangerous.

Dangerous in the sense that money can fly away just like that, and one chip is easily RM50 or RM100, with minimum bets of RM10, RM50, RM100. It's even worse if you head over to the poker side, where the minimum bet is RM50 and THEN, if you decide to follow, you have to throw in another dangerous RM100. =.=

And I also saw that it's dangerous because the jackpot machine is so easily addictive -.-Sit down there and it becomes more and more logical to continue to sit down and recoup the losses if your RM50 bucks is finished in like, 10minutes. With the mindset: Oh throw in another RM50 later dio jackpot jiu huat lah!

And I have yet to mention the fact that people become hostile when you accidentally add in one more player for say, blackjack, and then the dealer gets very good cards. They will shoo you away and warn you not to add in new players even though you really feel like playing.

There are people who will, penniless, "offer" to help you put your stakes, then just take the money away before you can protest. If he wins, the winnings is split. "I help you win one mah". If you lose, be glad you still have remaining money!

And there are others who will breathe, eat, sleep in the casino. Play play, go take some free milo/tea/coffee. Or buy a bread. Eat le, continue to play. Tired le, go to reception counter: many seats for people to take a nap. Too bad I couldn't take photos, else I'll sure take everything down.

AND THE LAST AND MOST IRRITATING DANGER: You get lung cancer from breathing in too much irritating cigarette smoke. =.= wth. 

Can I foresee Singapore's IRs to be like that also?

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Very busy this December, in fact, I only have a couple of fully free days left, the rest of the days are either bogged up with gatherings, chalets, meet ups, lessons, tuition, PA, or work. I want to rest and relax! Some things on my mind.. Some things. Hmm. Learn to relax man, Joyce. 

Ending my work here really soon. Time just whooshed! passed and it's gonna be end December in a couple of weeks! I don't know if I'll miss here, because I don't have strong relationships forged here in the first place. If I'm attending the xmas party, then let it be the last chance around for interaction! Meanwhile, dad keeps nagging at me to take up teaching as a job. It's not that I don't love teaching, it's just that I very much prefer to teach one by one.. And that maybe I still have this phobia of standing in front of a crowd. Plus, if I enter teaching, I'm not sure I'll want to get out at all. I would like to try other professions first before teaching leh..

Thinking if I should head down to Werks today or tomorrow to collect my grad photos. It's pouring.. Gonna have to go down alone. But it's ok. Like Ros says, I'm a lone ranger. Haha.

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Lots of r/s problems for a lot of my friends recently. It's not supposed to be like that in the joyeux Noël season! :( Joy peace love everyone. Hope everyone's problems will be resolved soon, and we can all have a merry christmas. 

Super 感觸 post

Had a fantastic dinner with the gals today at Swensen's. The easy banter we had is still evident, and even though we only meet up like once in how long, but we never did lose the super friendship we had and have :) I was so glad we got to meet up in the end! Even though it was after ALOT, alot of miscommunication lol. Updated each other about a lot of stuff, and also told them some stuff that I never meant to say. Lol. Don't know what I was thinking ya. But just thought I should at least tell someone bout it.. You guys are the only people to know!!!!! Then again, there are a lot of details that I think I never elaborate on, haha. Forgot to mention them =.=

But it also left me feeling very unsettled. Thought more bout it than I should.. Feeling very weirded now. I hadn't started talking bout it to expect to end up feeling this way =.= Ok lor. We shall see how it goes. Haha.

Fyi, it's really damn hard to get me to tell something/anything like that. Haha.

Something else that left a deep impression on me was that Hafi mentioned that some of her friends are married or are going to marry. Like ?! Wow. We are nearly the same age?! So we were talking bout how marriage comes at this point of time, then she said that she would like to get married 2 yrs after graduation.. Which brought me to realize that maybe this phase of life is not too far off to start thinking bout now.. BUT THEN.

Got no one how to think about anything? Haha! I told her I don't want to start thinking bout all these until I can actually see something like this happening aka there's like, at least SOMEONE. Lol. Then she actually suggested online dating!!!! I was wow-ed. Lols. That came up because I was telling her I already don't have much chances to actually meet new people.. Since I have no permanent workplace yet, and I don't go socializing around like, much at all. But I was rather surprised, because it doesn't seem like she would suggest something like that, but apparently I was totally wrong because she was totally fine with it.

My bottomline is, I would never accept something like that. Think I am a super introvert. I am ok with being very friendly and chatty msn, or online, or sms and stuff, but ultimately, if I'm gonna meet a total stranger face to face, I think I will just shut up -.- It takes just a while to become a hi bye friend to me, but to become a really close friend, it takes more than just normal interaction I guess.

Which is why I might broach this topic when I'm doing up an entry, but I will never start something like this in real life, because it's just not me to start blabbering out what I'm really thinking. This entry might as well be the closest anyone can get to my heart. Hahahaha =D

And then again, I am always very melancholic when I realize my attached friends are moving away from me because their partner takes the top priority after the status change :( It's not something I can prevent, because everyone is different, so I can only accept and try to deal with it. Apparently there's nothing much I can do if I try to still maintain the friendship the way it was but in the end the other side does nothing right? Haha. So.. If there's ever someone, the topmost criteria must be that I must have my own friendship freedom and he can never dictate who I should or should not go out with, because I have definitely as many good guy friends as good girl friends, :)

So yea, I concluded that I might be single all my life. Haha!!! But hell no, I don't want that. I want to get married. LOL. How ironic.

Looking forward to meeting again on 14th Jan :)